TacheBack urges men to grow a moustache - and raise funds for male cancers. We've thrown away the razors, and so has Keith Lemon. Come on - join in
Keith Lemon and tache
So Keith, what makes a real man?
To be pecific, or frank, or pecifically frank, if we’re looking at it scientifically I suppose it’s having balls and a tallywacker. But it takes more than just being able to go to the toilet standing up to be a real man. Being a real man is knowing how to treat bang tidy birds, knowing where your local IKEA, Homebase or B&Q is. And lastly but not leastly it’s about having a ‘tache and that’s why I am urging men to look like me and grow a ‘tache to raise money for male cancer research! That were a long answer wasn’t it?
Why do you think TacheBack chose you as their ambassador?
‘Cos I’m cheaper than Owen Wilson, who a lot of people say I look like. But he hasn’t got a ‘tache. And I say cheap, I’m not getting paid to do this ya know! I’m doing it out of the goodness of me heart, for the sake of man kind. I’m very much like a locket me. I’ve got a hard exterior but I’m soft and juicy inside.
What inspired you to first grow a ‘tache? I can’t remember really I’ve had one since I was eight years old. It looks nice, don’t it?
Was there a noticeable change in reaction from the ladies when you first grew a ‘tache?
No I just told ya, I’ve had a ‘tache since I was eight. I don’t get any complaints off the ladies though. I think they like the way it feels if ya know what I mean. Jude Law’s got a ‘tache in that new film Inspector Morse. He looks good!
Which celebrity ‘tache do you most admire?
Are you listening to me? I just said Jude Law’s looks good didn’t I? I’d say his is on a par with mine. Brad Pitt wears a ‘tache well too. Good looking fella him in’t he?
What traits make up a bang tidy woman? Nice pair of bangers, lovely set of gebs, ghostbusters or whatever the kids are calling baps these days. Pretty face, lovely bum, brown legs like hot dogs. Not too brainy so I don’t look daft when we’re having serious banter, ‘cos I don’t know owt about politics and stuff. And not too tall. I like spinners, me!
What would be your ideal date?
My ideal date would have to be me and a lady. Or several ladies. A quonce up! Ya know, four of us. Me and three other ladies: Katy Perry, Holly and Fearne, who I do Celebrity Juice with, and Claire Sweeny. There’s just something about her, and Holly valance. Frick it, I’ll go with anyone me, I’m a right tart
In one of the videos you filmed for TacheBack, you say DIY is one element of being a “proper man”. Have you had any DIY disasters?
No I’m pretty good at DIY. It’s one of me main primary skills. That and break-dancing. Back in the past I used to be the best break-dancer in Leeds!
How often do you check your nether region to make sure you’re in good nick? Every day and I don’t check it, I get a bang tidy lass to check it with her mouth. Just kidding. I do check ‘meself before I wreck meself’ though!
What exciting things does Keith Lemon have in the pipeline for fans to look out for?
I start on a movie on me life which will be released early next year and more Celebrity Juice with Holly and Fearne.
What makes you laugh? Dogs on skateboards.
If you had to relinquish one, which would it be: the hair on your head, or your ‘tache?
What’s relinquish mean. Is that a sex act?
To be pecific, or frank, or pecifically frank, if we’re looking at it scientifically I suppose it’s having balls and a tallywacker. But it takes more than just being able to go to the toilet standing up to be a real man. Being a real man is knowing how to treat bang tidy birds, knowing where your local IKEA, Homebase or B&Q is. And lastly but not leastly it’s about having a ‘tache and that’s why I am urging men to look like me and grow a ‘tache to raise money for male cancer research! That were a long answer wasn’t it?
Why do you think TacheBack chose you as their ambassador?
‘Cos I’m cheaper than Owen Wilson, who a lot of people say I look like. But he hasn’t got a ‘tache. And I say cheap, I’m not getting paid to do this ya know! I’m doing it out of the goodness of me heart, for the sake of man kind. I’m very much like a locket me. I’ve got a hard exterior but I’m soft and juicy inside.
What inspired you to first grow a ‘tache? I can’t remember really I’ve had one since I was eight years old. It looks nice, don’t it?
Was there a noticeable change in reaction from the ladies when you first grew a ‘tache?
No I just told ya, I’ve had a ‘tache since I was eight. I don’t get any complaints off the ladies though. I think they like the way it feels if ya know what I mean. Jude Law’s got a ‘tache in that new film Inspector Morse. He looks good!
Which celebrity ‘tache do you most admire?
Are you listening to me? I just said Jude Law’s looks good didn’t I? I’d say his is on a par with mine. Brad Pitt wears a ‘tache well too. Good looking fella him in’t he?
What traits make up a bang tidy woman? Nice pair of bangers, lovely set of gebs, ghostbusters or whatever the kids are calling baps these days. Pretty face, lovely bum, brown legs like hot dogs. Not too brainy so I don’t look daft when we’re having serious banter, ‘cos I don’t know owt about politics and stuff. And not too tall. I like spinners, me!
What would be your ideal date?
My ideal date would have to be me and a lady. Or several ladies. A quonce up! Ya know, four of us. Me and three other ladies: Katy Perry, Holly and Fearne, who I do Celebrity Juice with, and Claire Sweeny. There’s just something about her, and Holly valance. Frick it, I’ll go with anyone me, I’m a right tart
In one of the videos you filmed for TacheBack, you say DIY is one element of being a “proper man”. Have you had any DIY disasters?
No I’m pretty good at DIY. It’s one of me main primary skills. That and break-dancing. Back in the past I used to be the best break-dancer in Leeds!
How often do you check your nether region to make sure you’re in good nick? Every day and I don’t check it, I get a bang tidy lass to check it with her mouth. Just kidding. I do check ‘meself before I wreck meself’ though!
What exciting things does Keith Lemon have in the pipeline for fans to look out for?
I start on a movie on me life which will be released early next year and more Celebrity Juice with Holly and Fearne.
What makes you laugh? Dogs on skateboards.
If you had to relinquish one, which would it be: the hair on your head, or your ‘tache?
What’s relinquish mean. Is that a sex act?
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